Kainsiration

Friday, December 30

This week had been an enjoyable week~ though feelin a bit exhausted... My mum also asked me where u went for pass few days..? Rarely she asked le...

Also had a time to think bout things that have troubled me long enuff. I jus left it hanging there, but its nt gonna jus go off like that. So i've came to a decision, a painful one though... nt easy. From now on i have to keep in mind my this decision... Dun bother asking wads is it bout...Wun tell, only one person knows, n there wun be a second one.

Looking back at the resolutions i made last yr, i've gotten considerable success. Not bad lo, 70%...
But 3 failures really stands out... NIE, Car License n the last one cant tell :x (guess most people shud be able to guess lo...keke)

Seems that this year less things to aim for... but the above 3 i want to have desperately... n maybe a body like stephen chow and face like takeshi kaneshiro will be jus nice...haha~

Wish all of you have a great yr ahead, n be able to attain 事事顺利 and 无烦恼 status~

白茫茫的世界碎成雪
所有快乐都已流成泪
而我一个人面对
整夜的心碎

阿杜-下雪
(was listening in hmv...happy also can be depressed.....haiz~)

9:39 am

Wednesday, December 28

Thanks for those who cared and responded to my slightly agitated post. That day was i was a bit 'heaty' after being in the sun for too long... Thx for everyone concern~ I know u guys/gals care ^^

The issue was solved. In the night we had an arguement, by morning we are fine. I was angry cos i cared. I dun really trust frens easily due to wat happened to me before. So i treasured each and every 'palship' very seriously. Audz, i promise you i will treasure you as an important fren alwis, although you are stuborn(dun listen to me at all...),troublesome(hungry but die die dun wanna eat), hysterical(can be laughin n become crying in split sec) and forgetful(till now u still cant remember my bday...) :P
Kind of respect jerry now.... nt easy to handle u wor~ haha
ron, din know u see me so up.... haha, thx ;)

These few days too happening le.... cant sleep well at all. My brain gonna burst le....Luckily some issues are solved le... The time now is 645am... i slept only for 4 hrs.... now going back to slp le....

6:29 am

Monday, December 26

Jus that i treat frens well, doesan't mean i can be taken for granted. I have my pride n also appreciate when people cared for me. I'm not blind, i know who treat me well who doesan't even bother~

For 'someone':
I angry is because, u asked me when i'm free to watch movie. We decided liao but cos of ur fren u changed the entire plan jus becos she doesant want to watch. Have u asked me? If u busy wif work or your bf, i can understand, but u been meetin her every week n u cant spare jus one moment for me? We have not met for quite some time, cos i understand u busy meetin ur frens ~ as if i very free like dat...

When u down, did i not wake up and chat wif u?
When u angry, did i not listen to ur rants?
When u lonely, did i not rush over?
You know why i did all these? Because i treat u as a good fren, n i care~

But you can give me excuses that u busy at home or battery low n dun reply my sms. At least tell me the nxt day, i tot wat happened to u... still have to wait till i ask.

Jus a simple testimonial, is it that hard? You have time to blog, shopping n even add new fren inside friendster n have the cheek to tell me.... Even my new frens, or even ur gd fren bothered to leave one for me, when i left one for them...

I understand u can be forgetful, but u touch your heart. Wat do you remember bout me? What aare the things i have told u? U cant remember cos i nvr stayed in ur heart at all. N wat i said doesan't matter at all~

This friendship have alwis been bout u only~ I'm tired. Bitterly disappointed.....

3:55 pm

Sunday, December 25

Yeh! its finally xmas~ Did you guys have fun on the eve? Hope so~

Mine was very nice and special. My group of sec. school frens (around 10yrs frens) gathered for a steamboat. Knowing each other for so long this is the first time we actually shop together for grocery... sounds weird rite... 5 grown-up man buying vegetables and food...*shrugs*
The preparation of the steamboat was tedious...made even more by the ignorance of some of us(i one of the main culprits)... But when we finally completed, it was a feast to be proud of~ Its was a very economic meal compared to the 50+ bucks buffet that we pull out from. Guys, thanks for the great time~ Hope u had a great night at M.O.S last night. (lucky i din join you guys...keke)

Around 9 i have to make a move and meet another group of frens~ had a exchange of presents. Think i long time din give out so many presents le... the gifts i got also very nice, which include a hand written christams card, with stamp affixed somemore...*faint* I will treasure this rare xmas card i received... think other den insurance agents i dun really get cards....
On the stroke of midnight, we started playin wif spray cans~ Played till bit too crazy, me n another fren all slipped until 四脚朝天。。。Whole body niam niam after that, think that taxi driver mus be cursing me after that...haha~

我们是泛泛之辈
我听了歌做了梦都会流泪
泪水该怎么停歇
我们习惯眼泪不让人发觉
我犯了错说了谎都会后悔
脚步该怎么停歇

吴克群-泛泛之辈

5:06 pm

Wednesday, December 21

its true i slept for 3 hrs den work for 13 hrs.... i becoming robot liao~
yesterday was really hectic...
a fren of mine was very depressed, felt no one cared for her...
she sound so depressed in msn that as her kor, i called her immediately...
she was swallowing pills...wanna commit suicide...
was doing all i can, console her,beg her, scold her.... finally she waked up...
really gan cheong...(mr chia will know...). dunno where she lives... i the first person to detect something is wrong... if she die on me i think i will be guilty all my life... though nt my fault at all.
knowing that today she still alive, i'm really glad. i have managed to bring back someone's life...
i mus have accumulate some good yin de haha~
but it is super tiring... 4.45am i still tokin to her... 7.30 i have to go work~
people, dun anyhow do this kind of stupid things ok... my heart nt that good...
we are nt the worst off....otherwise i think i died dunno how many time le ^^

11:05 pm

Tuesday, December 20

Ya, finally i'm almost there... this month alone 4 tendered le. senior admin, web design,male new trainer n the most senior trainer. soon the new admin, female new trainer , my second senior trainer will also.... Now its a race to see who will be last...haiz~

Rather sian lo, no time to prepare for xmas... no time to buy presents...even if got... also no time to give. No time giving after, rite. Thanks you kris and clara for the gifts, muacks~ Think i have to owe u all the gifts this year liaoz~ Nxt yr i will repay back ok... Maybe give betta birthday gifts~

Been chatting n going out wif the people i know from the previous gathering. Seems we really very gum, or maybe we alll jus oves to sing and crap, haha. I became a kor kor of one of the gals(though she older den me....rather complicated). She yesterday was down n i ended up chattin wif her till 3am... Gals and guys thinkin very diff, but when meeting wif love, all will be 不知所错 ... she also gave me some valuble advice. Someone finally able to knock some sense into me le, hurray~

Xmas eve will be happening? morn i have to work....till 2-3pm. Den go eat a dinner which will cost 40+++.... after that go M.O.S...? Will be a expensive eve, haha~ But since its such a rare gathering for my this batch of bros, crazy a bit doesan't matter. (got gals ask me out ok~ but i steady, dun eat my words...*heartpain...argh*)

我的天空今天有点灰
我的心是个落叶的季节
我不知道如何度过今夜
所有的灯早已经全都熄灭
如果你从没出现
我会不会觉得快乐一些
可惜残忍时间
总要把诺言一点点摧毁
S.H.E-天灰

10:10 am

Tuesday, December 13

Life in the office is getting more sian... people leaving, sending up resumes etc... but work keep piling n deadline gettin shorter~ Stressed up. Behind me is a camera plus now our coms can be entered by my boss anytime... no privacy at all, so i deleted everything.. cant anyhow msn le... dun want go main office le~ so sian... that time we even kena caught by boss for talking bout the company policy... die liao~ cant wait for xmas....

met some nice people frm sunday's gatherin. very fun people i mus say. New KTV kakis added le haha. i getting to love meetin new frens. from all walks of lives n frm diff generation...gained great insights, man. Still remember "sng bao". Those younger people dun even know wads dat... Think i also old liao...haha. Now they only know hps.... haiz, rich sia~

<- The poor gal who was 'match-maked' wif me during the gatherin... Look deng dui anot...? Many people say yes le... alamak She younger den me 6 yrs lo... dun look like it rite...

我是说真的你如果累了
别犹豫随时都能来找我
我不善言语
但愿意陪你让你至少不孤单渡过难眠的夜晚
不管夜多漫长天终究会明亮
石康军-黑夜过後

11:32 pm

Sunday, December 11

To make life a bit diff and more exciting, why nt try things u will never do in the past?
Maybe u will find a diff you? This is one of the goals i've set for myself, last year.
I believed i've achieved considerable success ^^

Today actually went to an outing wif 15 people, eventually became 19, but only 3 i seen them b4. Imagine... Making 10+ new frens at one go...lucky my brain dun have prob remembering all the names (all thx to my 'training' during work). Its really weird, though most of them we nvr seen each other b4, we jus clicked like old frens. the age range was from as young as 17 to 29 lo...
Went to ktv, really enjoyed singing wif brian, he the most pro singer i sang wif... like andy lau~ which also means i finally can find someone sing 无间道。。。

got one gal also very ke lian, shy to sing n still paid. den kena paired up wif me (tabloids generated by brian to heat up the atmosphere)... jus happen that we sit beside each other during the ktv n buffet. but seems everyone so happy i also play along. help her pour tea, take food for her etc.
the jap buffet was fantastic, we jus eat n eat. but those 17 yrs old one really eat like crazy...pei fu...i oredi old for this...cant eat much.ended up round $29 per pax.
Our conversation was split into 2 main grps. those above 25 one side, below 21 one side... i was at the center.... so in the end me n another gal form the uncategorized grp. Listening to both sides~

Great fun man, this kind of outings know more frens, n from diff background n age. Really can see i old liao, no energy 'fight' with those young ones....haha

我们都在不断赶路
忘记了出路
在失望中追求偶尔的满足
我们都在梦中解脱
倾心的苦
流浪在灯火阑珊处
去不到终点回到原点
相守那走不完的路

刘德华&梁朝伟-无间道

11:32 pm

Saturday, December 10

这是一个外套的故事。
外套，本来过着平凡但只有黑与白色的世界。
但外套并不介意，了解总有一天它会找到它的主人。
天天，痴痴的在百货公司等着那个人的出现~

一天，外套终于被挑中了~
外套真的很开心。
但，她（主人）只把它摆在一旁。
原因是，它只是其中一件外套。

*我一个人不孤单
想一个人才孤单
有伴的人在狂欢
寂寞的人怎么办

哥哥妹妹 - say forever *

外套了解它自己只不过是因为她一时的冲动才会有机会拥抱。
外套也了解她并不爱穿它。
偶尔的被披着，外套已经觉得很幸福了。
至少保护过她，陪伴过她。

*做你的外套拥抱著却不被拥抱
我是谁你知不知道
怎能随便穿上又换掉
我能拥有什么答案早就明了

动力火车-外套*

外套明了终有一天它会被忘掉，然后被抛弃。。。
外套拼命的争取每一个机会希望能让她疯狂的爱上它。
但，苍天终爱作弄人。。。
在一次意外中，外套因为保护主人，它破了个洞。
外套以为保护了主人，她会更珍惜它。
但，遍体鳞伤换来得只不过是被扔掉的可怜命运。
外套只能默默接受，然后笑自己真傻。。。

*爱的好累真的好苦
从来听不见你一句赞美
从来听不见你一句安慰
就算我作的都白费
至少自尊让我保留一点

陈小春-女人不该让男人太累*

到头来，它只不过是一件随时可以代替的外套

（以上只是我一时有冲动写了一个虚幻的情节，如有雷同，纯属意外） ^^

1:31 pm

Thursday, December 8

I'll be booked from mon to sat till 25 Dec. Wanna meet me, only after 10pm, haha.
Been meetin people unrelentlessly....

Mon met kris for durians...(big n nice durians sia, felt someone is drooling. haha) anyone else wanna eat jus call me lo. I mostly shud be ok~

Tue met up with a mei nu, a da da mei nu and a shuai ge at clarke quay. Once in a while go drinking and nua feels nice~ 2 guys and 2 gals but not couple couple though it looks like, haha. The taxi driver also veri farnie, keep asking me qns... "That gal ur gf ar?", "You attached?", "You still missed ur first love?", "You how old ar?" etc... Den he lament to me bout his first love n bla bla bla. Interesting man, he even teached me how to make wife pregnant wif boy or girl... We ended up chatting even though i reached home lo... Had a very sweet dream that nite, how i wished its true... 幸福 till cant slp, cos dun wanna forget the feeling ^^

Today met up wif rongjian, this guy made me wait for an hr.... but ok la, cos tue i also last min back up n went to clarke quay instead...so fair enuff~ Been meeting this guy bit too freq... last sat, today n coming fri...jialatz~

Thus will be rest day... no prog, think my bro mus be wondering wat am i up to these few days. 12 plus den reach home...

Fri will be mj... Dunno will die anot...Straight frm there i have to go work frm 9-5...

I beginning to be vampire liao...at nite den feel energetic~
Btw, welcome back miss clara. Thailand mus be fun hor~ (lucky u nvr forget my present, or i will haunt u.. haha)

"孤单是一个人的狂欢
狂欢是一群人的孤单
爱情原来的开始是陪伴
但我也渐渐地遗忘
当时是怎样有人陪伴
我一个人吃饭旅行到处走走停停
也一个人看书写信自己对话谈心
只是心又飘到了哪里
就连自己看也看不清
我想我不仅仅是失去你"

阿桑- 叶子

(PS: a very touchin mtv... and lyrics to ponder bout... very true~)

12:29 am

Sunday, December 4

Morale have been low in the company. Everyone is stretched and overworked. 1 will be tendering 2 days later. Two actually going to interviews~ In one mth i may lose up to 3 colleagues. Haiz, we have give up hope. The place is not a place to stay. We are overworked and underpaid... Most people thought with our skillset and working hrs we shid be earning in the region of 3-4k. The truth is otherwise, other place yes, but nt here~ I lost colleagues at the alarming rate of over one per mth, can u imagine the turnover rate?

When conducting class, it is fun. But we have too much classes, fatigue sets in. Been tolling tru, the tot of waking up at 7.30 n reaching home at 10 plus sux~

Been trying to find people to come out sing and let out my 闷气 on sun, but most of my regular kakis all booked... Sian~

Sat was planning to go home after work but i feelin so depressed, dun wanna go home... Ended up meeting rj and going shopping for christmas. Ended up spending 100+ in an hr (audz, this time u nt there to stop me :P)... when i bad mood, its the mood to shop and splurge~

Got pulled to play mj, since i free, i go lo~
Lost again, think when in bad mood sure lose ba... It was so last min, ended up instead of reaching home at 6pm, i reached home at 8am...still wearing the company shirt... shagged out~

PS: Dun use 'SG member' to post le... i dunno who u are le?

"我找不到天堂也摘不到月亮
对不起让你失望
你的渴望对我是很难
太多人比我强也承认我平凡
我已经拼命追赶
你的眼神请别那么冷淡
就算再付出我都撑得住
我不怕辛苦苦到什么地步"

陈小春-女人不该让男人太累

11:23 pm

Friday, December 30

9:39 am

Wednesday, December 28

6:29 am

Monday, December 26

3:55 pm

Sunday, December 25

Yeh! its finally xmas~ Did you guys have fun on the eve? Hope so~

5:06 pm

Wednesday, December 21

11:05 pm

Tuesday, December 20

10:10 am

Tuesday, December 13

11:32 pm

Sunday, December 11

11:32 pm

Saturday, December 10

1:31 pm

Thursday, December 8

12:29 am

Sunday, December 4

11:23 pm